There is an old song that goes:
“Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam
where the deer and the antelope play
where seldom is heard a discouraging word
and the skies are not cloudy all day.”
where the deer and the antelope play
where seldom is heard a discouraging word
and the skies are not cloudy all day.”
Sounds great doesn’t it? Well….get over it. The Bible
says, “No man can control the tongue.” (James 3:8)
There are two types of criticism, good and bad, positive and negative, constructive and destructive. One builds
up and the other destroys. Moses’ own
sister and brother let their lips get loose and before you know it they were
saying things they would later regret.
How does one keep from making a mess with one’s mouth?
Here are some questions to ask yourself before you look to criticize someone.
Are my comments against the person, or against something the person is doing or saying? Is it against the person or the situation? There is nothing at all wrong with trying to help our leaders or anyone else see things about themselves that need improving. But the "why" and the "way" in which we carry out our mission are really important. When Miriam and Aaron went after their little brother it was personal.
Does my criticism mask the real reason for my verbal attack? The attack on Moses’ character was simply a cover-up to draw attention away from the real reason Miriam and Aaron were upset with him. They were upset that all of the attention and all of the speaking opportunities were going to Moses. Our motive is always central when we talk to or about others. Put plainly, Miriam and Aaron suffered from envy and jealousy.
How does one keep from making a mess with one’s mouth?
Here are some questions to ask yourself before you look to criticize someone.
Are my comments against the person, or against something the person is doing or saying? Is it against the person or the situation? There is nothing at all wrong with trying to help our leaders or anyone else see things about themselves that need improving. But the "why" and the "way" in which we carry out our mission are really important. When Miriam and Aaron went after their little brother it was personal.
Does my criticism mask the real reason for my verbal attack? The attack on Moses’ character was simply a cover-up to draw attention away from the real reason Miriam and Aaron were upset with him. They were upset that all of the attention and all of the speaking opportunities were going to Moses. Our motive is always central when we talk to or about others. Put plainly, Miriam and Aaron suffered from envy and jealousy.
Aaron was the
only man on the planet who could enter the Most Holy Place on the Day of
Atonement. What a position of great magnitude and honor! Moses could have been
jealous of Aaron but he wasn’t.
Miriam had been
the one who had cleverly saved Moses’ life as a baby. Hers was a place of great
honor in the camp of the Israelites. She prophesied and led the Israelites in
worship and praise to God at the Red Sea at a time when female prophets were
rare. But Moses wasn’t critical of her. He was not jealous.
If you find yourself tempted criticize someone take some time to reconsider the opportunities God has given you. Take a look in the mirror!
If you find yourself tempted criticize someone take some time to reconsider the opportunities God has given you. Take a look in the mirror!
I asked several
people to tell me what they think is the difference between criticizing and
complaining. Sandy Tisdale said something very true: “Feeling sorry for myself is complaining. To criticize is to
focus on someone else. (Sometimes, it's something we don't like in them because
we see it in ourselves, but won't admit it.)” What we need to do is not to focus on the doors of opportunity God
has opened for others. God calls us to focus on the opportunities He puts
before us that will honor and glorify HIM.
Have I cleared my criticism with God? The Bible says, that, when Miriam and Aaron
criticized Moses, "the Lord heard it." Uh-oh. Of course God hears
everything. That’s something we need to seriously consider in all of our
conversation. We need to practice the presence of God in our communication -
especially in our criticisms. Look at it this way: If you don’t mind God
hearing what you say, and how you say it, then it’s okay to speak.
Am I helping or hurting by what I am saying? It’s not enough that something is true. It must be necessary and helpful for us to tell another person. Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
The comments made by Miriam and Aaron had to hurt. They hurt God. They hurt Moses. They hurt the family of God. They even hurt Miriam and Aaron. Love is constant, but our attitudes are always changing. We need to choose an attitude of love over an attitude of criticism. Attitudes have one thing in common: They are a choice. We chose to be critical or we choose to love. Most times criticism is not called for, but love is always the best way to go.
Am I helping or hurting by what I am saying? It’s not enough that something is true. It must be necessary and helpful for us to tell another person. Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
The comments made by Miriam and Aaron had to hurt. They hurt God. They hurt Moses. They hurt the family of God. They even hurt Miriam and Aaron. Love is constant, but our attitudes are always changing. We need to choose an attitude of love over an attitude of criticism. Attitudes have one thing in common: They are a choice. We chose to be critical or we choose to love. Most times criticism is not called for, but love is always the best way to go.
